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www.wanderingangie.com

Hi Everyone!

I have moved my blog to my own domain.

I hope you join me there 🙂

Angie

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The Big D

Depression – The Big D.

Source

I was diagnosed with depression way back in February this year (wow time has flown) and have been dealing with it since.I have talked about life, quarter life crisis, goals, motivation, dieting and frustration. I have hinted at things in these posts but wanted to get it out there and be honest both with myself and with any readers out there 🙂

I started off by going to the doctor, which was so hard as I thought it was all in my head. Anyone who is struggling go to your doctor and explain it. There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. So I did and he put me on anti-depressants and got me referred to counselling.

The medication has helped me sleep. Due to my anxiety, sleeping was a big issue for me and nothing seemed to work and therefore I was open to taking something to help with this. This was a personal choice and I asked questions then spent a while reading up on them before I started to take them. They are working for me, but I also know I don’t want to be on them for an extended period of time and therefore I don’t rely on them. Nothing beats getting to bed at a reasonable hour for a good nights sleep.

This is where the counselling comes in and I really feel like I am making some progress. I have been on a Changing Your Lifestyle and Weight Management Course and a Stress and Mood Management Course. I am currently on a Beating Low Self Esteem Course and my counsellor suggests an assertiveness course after that. I am learning lots of different things about myself and how I behave and think as well as techniques I can use to change my thoughts and behaviour to develop a healthy life. I have found I spend too much time thinking about other people that I have forgotten about myself and it’s time to change that.

I don’t think that even a week a go I would have written this post. I have had it as a draft idea for a while, but never thought of actually writing it until this week. Not even all my friends and family know about this (I haven’t told them about my blogging yet either), but I feel it is private (even though I’m sharing it with the blog world) and also I don’t want to talk about it with some people. I find it difficult to talk about with my counsellor who knows all about depression and psychology and has been trained to help people, whereas most people haven’t got a clue and their efforts to help can be very frustrating. Support is great don’t get me wrong, but I am picky about who I want support on this from. Is that wrong?

I have found I love my blog and the freedom it gives me to write my feelings and thoughts. It is a great personal support tool. I prefer it to my attempts to write a journal. I suppose it feels like ‘me time’ and I can fully immerse myself in myself and my life for a period of time without feeling guilty.

I wanted to get this out for me. I hope it will make things clearer when I blog about why I make decisions and what I plan to do and when 🙂

I wrote the above a day or so a go and have been umming and ahhing about posting it. I suppose I was afraid of what people might think. I don’t want to be afraid and I don’t think people should feel afraid or ashamed that they are struggling. Being diagnosed with depression means I am getting help and that is the most important part to me. By posting this I want to say to people I know that this does not mean it is a topic for open conversation. There will be times I will be happy to talk about things and other times when I won’t be and I hope people with understand that.

So that’s it. I have depression. I am no longer afraid or ashamed to admit it. I need help and I am getting help. That is all that matters.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and this is purely based on my personal experience. I can only tell you what has worked or not worked for me. Please consult your doctor if you need help on this subject.